My brother and his wife are expecting their first baby (first grandchild on this side!) end of September/beginning of October. My brother is so sweet - but you would never guess that from the number of guns and guard dogs and pepperspray and defense/assault moves he knows/has. In thinking about my brother and what type of father he'll be (uh, protective...duh), I started thinking about an afternoon in my life when CYP wasn't even around - but he still managed to be sitting directly next to me, making me cry with laughter.
I went to Australia for six months for an exchange program in college. After finishing the school year I still had a month of time to travel about - I chose New Zealand and Japan. New Zealand was amazing and gorgeous, but I wasn't ever taken in by its charms for I was really sick from traveling for so long, and was sort of homesick for my friends in Australia, and my family in the States, and was all by myself...I hadn't made many plans prior to arriving in NZ - thinking my incredibly general plan of locating a place to sleep and way to get around would be easy to maneuver - to be fair, I was planning on spending most of the week in the backcountry, tramping about in the Tongariro National Park. I spent the entire plane ride puking, the entire time in the customs line trying to pretend I wasn't sick so I wouldn't get quarantined, and then did in fact manage to store some of my gear in an airport locker, locate a hostel to stay in for the night, and eventually find transportation to the National Park to begin my trek.
It's a long week - I'm so sick I can barely hike, stumbling and falling, and generally disturbing anyone who passed by me (all in all, about 8 people for the week), I got snowed in on top of a (non-active) volcano, and ate all of my food almost immediately (starve a fever, maybe?), leaving just a can of spaghetti and a box of cookies to sustain me for the rest of the week. At the end of my allotted time on the mountain, I managed to get myself down the trail again and to a little lodge where I tried to not offend anyone with my unshowered body and hungry eyes (not the Patrick Swayze kind, either) and then, after that, I found a bus that would take me back to Auckland.
I have to laugh when I think about the impression I must have made on the Kiwi's because of this bus ride I took. Although I was freshly showered and wearing clean-ish clothing, no one ended up sitting next to me for the entire ride. Why, you ask? An attractive young American who looks friendly enough who couldn't find a seatmate?
Well, because an ABBA song was playing when I loaded myself onto the bus. I smiled, thinking about the painful expression that my brother would have had on his face if he were forced to listen to this. Then, the next song was also an ABBA hit...and the next...and it turned out it was an ABBA CD and that REALLY made me start giggling to myself thinking about him and the agony this would be causing him...and then, once the number of ABBA songs continued to rise, I realized it was the ABBA BOX SET...and I can't stop laughing - so the bus has been stopping and picking up more and more people, and it's filling up. getting really crowded, but no one wants to sit next to me - as I'm giggling hsyerically - snorting and coughing and wheezing, all because I can see my brother's features twist in pain as he listens to all of the greatest ABBA hits - and I wish I could tell these very sweet and completely terrified passengers that I'm not insane, I just hadn't seen my family in months and months and was thinking about my brother and wishing he were traveling with me.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
I had an interesting weekend - mostly because it was the first non-perfect one that E and I had together. Don't get me wrong, it was still amazing...but Saturday was tinged with expectation, apprehension and self-doubt.
Friday night was a perfect date night even though we were both exhausted. We walked over to his favorite mexican restaurant, Arcos, which I highly recommend. The outdoor seating was especially fabulous - stone walls with crosses and candles, wooden and woven furniture, with a band of four men to serenade you.
Arcos
http://www.arcosrestaurante.com/
129 S Broadway
After dinner and a couple of margaritas, we walked down to Mr. Yogato (http://www.baltimorestyle.com/index.php/style/sarah_gilbert_fox/mr._yogato_has_touched_down_in_baltimore/) for some very yogurt-tasting frozen yogurt (exponetially better now that we've changed to fruit toppings instead of sweet toppings) and got very serious about our games of Connect Four and Battleship. I am proud to say I beat E in BOTH games. Technically Connect Four ended up 4-3, bu I still won.
Saturday was the day that was sort of weird-feeling-in-my-stomach-sort-of-disconnected-in-my-head. I still adored E, but I was feeling very outside of my body type of emotion: nervous about going to this cardiac dinner where his exgirfriend would not be (she lost in their game of post-relationship chicken) but all of her friends and their coworkers would. I didn't love my outfit, I was very PMS-y, I didn't feel like smiling generally at everyone, I had a canker sore directly inside of my mouth that I was certain everyone was looking at (I swear, this is the type of sore that you get when you are really stressed - not the contagious kind...I've had them since I was really little and I never know if people will get grossed out and think I'm dirty or say, 'man I hate canker sores, they're so painful' and know that it's not a STD), and then I also had a ginormous zit on my chin that was so large it couldn't even be covered by any type of shellac and I knew when we were at the dinner, that people would be specifially looking at me and judging and measuring me up against his exgF - who I hear wasn't the nicest person, but she still intimidates the hell out of me. Add to this the boring-ness of the speeches at the dinner, the too-warm room, the fact that I had to stand because there weren't enough chairs (SO GLAD I went with sandals rather than heels) and I was altogether miserable.
The dinner itself wasn't too bad - it was held at the Living Classroom Foundation, which was neat because it's next to my office so I've walked past it dozens of times and wondered what it was like on the inside. As the sun started setting, the breeze picked up and the weather was much more pleasant. The food wasn't bad, the savingion blanc was pretty good, and the few people that I neded up interacting with were nice enough. It was a weird feeling though - dealing with these spouses that are all women who know each other through their husbands' work...how they were all slightly Stepford in their desire to fit in and be the best wife possible...this made me feel strange in a couple of ways: 1) why does having the man be the breadwinner bother me? My mom is a housewife, and she was happy to raise the kids and support my dad and make a wonderful home for all of us - not even taking into account all of her volunteer work and other obligations. Maybe it's because these women seem to get their self-worth from their man - as opposed to having their own expectations and visons. Myabe also because the women who DID have 'careers' some even in the medical field - and some as doctors, themselves - seemed relegated to the 'spouse' role regardless of their own accomplishments. And 2) I was trying very hard to fit in and not be the one calling attention to myself - even as I wore completely the wrong outfit and danced to Blues Traveler over the crab dip and discussed my pimple in the bathroom and spilled E's wine on him (luckily he was drinking a very flamboyant pink zin blush)...and the fact that I HAD been trying so hard to fit in, and of course, failed miserably...but it made me realize that I would have to have a very strong sense of self if I were to be in E's life.
We finished the night at Miss Irene's (http://www.missirenes.com/) in Fells - one of my new faves...and I was still feeling a little bijiggety and E still wasn't holding my hand or nuzzling me (we'd had to put a No Schmoopy Zone ruling on the evening because it was a work function) but now that we were out only with Geoff and Erin, I thought maybe he's go back to his normal affectionate self...but instead, the lockdown continued...making me feel unbearably lonely.
Sunday woke me with a smiliar melancholy feeling, but was righted with a long leisurely lunch at Panera - sitting outside and reading books together. We bought his dog, Abs, a new collar (leopard print, he let me pick...) and I went back to my place to cook him his first Georgia-Cooked-Dinner...because sometimes I get the feeling that he is SO wonderful that maybe I feel my wonderfulness mildly diminished...so I decide to remedy this particular sitaution with a roast chicken, baked onions, broiled sweet potatoes, sauteed fresh spinach and garlic, rice, corn on the cob and rotkohl. I worry if he'll like my style of cooking, so when he goes back fro seconds I am relieved!
All in all, a fab Friday and Sunday sandwiching a somewhat distressing Saturday.
Friday night was a perfect date night even though we were both exhausted. We walked over to his favorite mexican restaurant, Arcos, which I highly recommend. The outdoor seating was especially fabulous - stone walls with crosses and candles, wooden and woven furniture, with a band of four men to serenade you.
Arcos
http://www.arcosrestaurante.com/
129 S Broadway
After dinner and a couple of margaritas, we walked down to Mr. Yogato (http://www.baltimorestyle.com/index.php/style/sarah_gilbert_fox/mr._yogato_has_touched_down_in_baltimore/) for some very yogurt-tasting frozen yogurt (exponetially better now that we've changed to fruit toppings instead of sweet toppings) and got very serious about our games of Connect Four and Battleship. I am proud to say I beat E in BOTH games. Technically Connect Four ended up 4-3, bu I still won.
Saturday was the day that was sort of weird-feeling-in-my-stomach-sort-of-disconnected-in-my-head. I still adored E, but I was feeling very outside of my body type of emotion: nervous about going to this cardiac dinner where his exgirfriend would not be (she lost in their game of post-relationship chicken) but all of her friends and their coworkers would. I didn't love my outfit, I was very PMS-y, I didn't feel like smiling generally at everyone, I had a canker sore directly inside of my mouth that I was certain everyone was looking at (I swear, this is the type of sore that you get when you are really stressed - not the contagious kind...I've had them since I was really little and I never know if people will get grossed out and think I'm dirty or say, 'man I hate canker sores, they're so painful' and know that it's not a STD), and then I also had a ginormous zit on my chin that was so large it couldn't even be covered by any type of shellac and I knew when we were at the dinner, that people would be specifially looking at me and judging and measuring me up against his exgF - who I hear wasn't the nicest person, but she still intimidates the hell out of me. Add to this the boring-ness of the speeches at the dinner, the too-warm room, the fact that I had to stand because there weren't enough chairs (SO GLAD I went with sandals rather than heels) and I was altogether miserable.
The dinner itself wasn't too bad - it was held at the Living Classroom Foundation, which was neat because it's next to my office so I've walked past it dozens of times and wondered what it was like on the inside. As the sun started setting, the breeze picked up and the weather was much more pleasant. The food wasn't bad, the savingion blanc was pretty good, and the few people that I neded up interacting with were nice enough. It was a weird feeling though - dealing with these spouses that are all women who know each other through their husbands' work...how they were all slightly Stepford in their desire to fit in and be the best wife possible...this made me feel strange in a couple of ways: 1) why does having the man be the breadwinner bother me? My mom is a housewife, and she was happy to raise the kids and support my dad and make a wonderful home for all of us - not even taking into account all of her volunteer work and other obligations. Maybe it's because these women seem to get their self-worth from their man - as opposed to having their own expectations and visons. Myabe also because the women who DID have 'careers' some even in the medical field - and some as doctors, themselves - seemed relegated to the 'spouse' role regardless of their own accomplishments. And 2) I was trying very hard to fit in and not be the one calling attention to myself - even as I wore completely the wrong outfit and danced to Blues Traveler over the crab dip and discussed my pimple in the bathroom and spilled E's wine on him (luckily he was drinking a very flamboyant pink zin blush)...and the fact that I HAD been trying so hard to fit in, and of course, failed miserably...but it made me realize that I would have to have a very strong sense of self if I were to be in E's life.
We finished the night at Miss Irene's (http://www.missirenes.com/) in Fells - one of my new faves...and I was still feeling a little bijiggety and E still wasn't holding my hand or nuzzling me (we'd had to put a No Schmoopy Zone ruling on the evening because it was a work function) but now that we were out only with Geoff and Erin, I thought maybe he's go back to his normal affectionate self...but instead, the lockdown continued...making me feel unbearably lonely.
Sunday woke me with a smiliar melancholy feeling, but was righted with a long leisurely lunch at Panera - sitting outside and reading books together. We bought his dog, Abs, a new collar (leopard print, he let me pick...) and I went back to my place to cook him his first Georgia-Cooked-Dinner...because sometimes I get the feeling that he is SO wonderful that maybe I feel my wonderfulness mildly diminished...so I decide to remedy this particular sitaution with a roast chicken, baked onions, broiled sweet potatoes, sauteed fresh spinach and garlic, rice, corn on the cob and rotkohl. I worry if he'll like my style of cooking, so when he goes back fro seconds I am relieved!
All in all, a fab Friday and Sunday sandwiching a somewhat distressing Saturday.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Scaaaaaary Next Door Neighbor
I had the most bizarre situation this morning...so I went to Es house last night after Book Club to stay over and there wasn't any power on his block, so it was pretty warm but still lovely to see him. He got up around 5 and left for work. I got up at 7, showered in the dark and took all my stuff downstairs, figuring I would put on my make-up in the living room because there was more light. I am just getting myself situated when there is a banging on the front door. I think maybe the dog walker is here early, so I open the door and this man stumbles past me - he's covered in blood and yelling for E. I don't recognize this guy, but he is acting like he knows me, asking to use my phone and to take a look at his bloodied and swollen face. As I pass over my pink razor (thinking it would be easier to clean than my blackberry) I realize this is Es next door neighbor whom I met in the dark last night when I was walking up to the house last night.
Although the situation is freaking me out, I decide that I can handle it and try to get things under control. I get him a bag of melting ice (still no power, remember) and wait for him to finish his phone call. That's when things start getting stranger: he leaves the house while I'm getting the ice, comes back with a heap of bloody clothing which he asks for a bag to put them into, then places them on the coffee table while he leaves again to come back with his address book. He's making numerous calls but no one is picking up, and he's not leaving any messages. He's swaying back and forth and alternately getting up and bolting from one room to another and then plopping down on the sofa - closer and closer to me. I grab the dog and hold on to her. He tries to walk out the back door, but I'd had E lock it from the inside and then put the key away so that no one could break in - and now there's this crazy man INSIDE the house, trying to get out. So he comes back over to me and starts saying all this stuff - about how the EMT's just left him and told him to walk home, how the police took his wallet and phone and then laughed at him when he requested it back, how he's not so hard looking on the eyes normally, how he heard that I'm the hottest girl at Sylvan, how happy he is that I'm having s*x (spam filter) with E and that I hung around this morning so he could use my phone, how he hates lying and I think he's talking about lying both to his work and his wife - and I am just getting really, REALLY uncomfortable and I don't know how to end this, so I just say I'm getting late for work and after about another 5 minutes, he leaves. I make sure the door is locked so he can't get back in and then I head out to work.
This really shook me up, even though nothing happened and I'm sure this guy (whatever his name is) thinks nothing of the entire interaction. How weird, right? And all at seven in the morning.
Although the situation is freaking me out, I decide that I can handle it and try to get things under control. I get him a bag of melting ice (still no power, remember) and wait for him to finish his phone call. That's when things start getting stranger: he leaves the house while I'm getting the ice, comes back with a heap of bloody clothing which he asks for a bag to put them into, then places them on the coffee table while he leaves again to come back with his address book. He's making numerous calls but no one is picking up, and he's not leaving any messages. He's swaying back and forth and alternately getting up and bolting from one room to another and then plopping down on the sofa - closer and closer to me. I grab the dog and hold on to her. He tries to walk out the back door, but I'd had E lock it from the inside and then put the key away so that no one could break in - and now there's this crazy man INSIDE the house, trying to get out. So he comes back over to me and starts saying all this stuff - about how the EMT's just left him and told him to walk home, how the police took his wallet and phone and then laughed at him when he requested it back, how he's not so hard looking on the eyes normally, how he heard that I'm the hottest girl at Sylvan, how happy he is that I'm having s*x (spam filter) with E and that I hung around this morning so he could use my phone, how he hates lying and I think he's talking about lying both to his work and his wife - and I am just getting really, REALLY uncomfortable and I don't know how to end this, so I just say I'm getting late for work and after about another 5 minutes, he leaves. I make sure the door is locked so he can't get back in and then I head out to work.
This really shook me up, even though nothing happened and I'm sure this guy (whatever his name is) thinks nothing of the entire interaction. How weird, right? And all at seven in the morning.
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